24.12.2025

Hey, whats up?

I´m not doing so hot today, to be honest.

I vomited a bit, I dont feel nauseaus I just sometimes vomit because of stress I think.

Maybe Im just sick, this is temporary.

Everything is temporary if you think about it, relationships, skills, life.

The only thing you really have is the present, and even that constantly flies away.

23.12.2025

Hey, this is my first Blog post hehe, I guess Ill just write about whats on my mind, thats what people do with blogs right?

Im doing an apprenticeship and a bachelors degree right now, that sounds like a lot I guess, recently it feels like a lot too. Its in Cybersecurity, which sounds like a cool field, and it is, but I dont really like it.

All my colleagues are nice, at least to me. But everyone seems really stressed out, and not very happy. Which is bad righ? You want a job that dosent make your life miserable.

And Ive been thinking about my life a lot recently, I mean... I always think about my life a lot, its a real problem how much I think, but recently Ive been thinking even more!

I dont think that I want to work in Cybersecurity, I dont think that I want to work in computer science, I dont think that I want to work period.

But I want to work, like really work, on some job that actually serves a purpose in life, like social work maybe, although that also stresses people out, at least youre helping someone.

I would like to do art and get paid for it, I dont think that Im a good artist though, that could change of course, maybe I am a good artist but I just dont think I am, I dont know.

I remember how I used to have fun programming, I used to really like it, now it just stresses me out, that dosent even make any sense.

There are other things I like of course, like gaming and reading and working out and meeting with friends, but everyone likes those.

Maybe I should just marry a rich older woman, and then I just do her house work and she loves me and I love her, that sounds wonderfull.

I should probably go to therapy, I dont want to be too negative on here, but I really should.